Hey yall! Yall? Wow you'd think I was from Texas or something haha anyways thats not important. Just thought I would update! Life is slowly getting better.
I have had major clarification of how I have been feeling about a certain person and I have realized that even though my friends don't like this person I cant let them dictate how I feel. I have let other people in my life manipulate my feelings and what I think about others and its done more damage than good. From here on out, I will be making decisions for me and only me. I'm not saying I will not be taking advice (not that I get any of that anyways) because advice is always appreciated and wanted but just because someone thinks I should or should not do something does not mean I'm going to completely listen to them. A lot of the time people can see things I cannot and sometimes they can be right but I'm convinced they are wrong about this one. It has been suggested that I abandon this person completely and I just cant do that. I'm sorry but I need this person in my life and they need me in theirs its just how it is. I have tried trust me I have tried my hardest. I have tried for the past couple years to do this and I cant do it for one reason or another. I have prayed about this, and I know that I need this person and they need me. So regarding this situation I will only be listening to my intuition and Heavenly Father. He knows better than anyone.
I wrote a sad letter to a missionary about a week ago. Basically I had feelings for him when he left and those feelings were returned for me and we decided we wouldn't officially be together and just see how things went and when he got back we would go from there but I realized about a month ago that I had tricked myself into having those feelings for him to disguise feelings I had for another and have had for awhile now. So yeah I had to break someones heart and I just felt that it would be better sooner rather than later when his feelings got too deep. I have been getting a lot of crap for this and people telling me I should have waited to tell him closer to the end of his mission. Its been really stressful having to deal with people telling me I screwed up and should have waited.
Thanksgiving was yesterday! I hope you all have a fantastic day full of fun and thanks. And for those of you who went shopping today I applaud you. I cannot get up that early to go shopping and fighting people for stuff. So good job :)
I love you all and any support that can be given while going through this confusing time of my life would be much appreciated. Thanks everyone!
♥
P.S. I have just learned blogger has spellcheck. Yay!
1 comment:
I love you.
The decisions you're making for yourself? Awesome.
I think you made the BEST DECISION telling the missionary how you felt. It shows that you didn't want to lead him on, and it helps him to just focus on his mission.
You're amazing Alyssa :) Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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