Locking Keys in My Car

I am officially the biggest idiot on the planet. Today I got to school and got out of my car and started walking to class. Everything was fine until my brain decided to kick in and I realized that my keys were still in my car. So, I went back to get them and when I got to my car it was locked. Brilliant, paranoid me locked my car with my keys inside in the ignition. Talk about stupid. Gotta love when you have these stupid/brilliant moments. Its gonna be interesting getting home thats for sure. I guess thats what I get for getting distracted after I parked and forgetting to take my keys out of the ignition.

This was me this morning. I feel stupid lol

Picking Up the Pieces

Heeeey! So, sorry for all the drama last week. I'd rather not talk about it because its still kind of fresh and not a day goes by that I don't think about it so yeah, if you were looking to hear more about that then you might as well stop reading now. I'm not gonna talk crap about anyone. There are no hard feelings (from my end) whatsoever. Everything happens for a reason and apparently the direction I was going was not God's plan for me. As hard as this has been I know that everything will turn out the way that it is supposed to. Its hard but its not the end of the world. It really helps that I'm writing a few missionaries. Their letters all make me feel so much better. Especially Mikes letters. His letters are super funny and make my day every time I get them. I feel like they are that little push I need to get through the week. So, even though Mike cant read this, thanks Mike!

This weekend was super fun. Friday I hung out with Chelsea, Brittany and Seren to celebrate Chelsea's birthday! We went to the mall, Trafalga and Walmart! haha it was fun. In fact, here is a picture!

We played in the window displays lol

Saturday I was bored but it was okay cause I needed to rest and all that jazz. Still recovering from being sick and stress and crap like that so yeah. But I did watch How Do You Know. Pretty funny movie but not something I would wanna watch over and over again.

Sunday I decided to go visit Katie! We ate yummy cake, watched Psych, read scriptures and prayed. I love Katie's family. I ended up doing family prayer and scripture study with them and there is just so much love in that house. I love going over there. Not that there isn't love in my house because there is but they just make me feel so welcome over there. They are my second family. So yeah, thank you Katie's family for being so awesome :)

Yesterday I got a letter! (actually 2) One was from Mike and the other was from his room mate who apparently really really likes my cookies I sent Mike. It was rather entertaining to read. They made my day it was exactly what I needed. Missionary letters are fantastic.

Life just happens. A lot of the time everything is beyond our control and we just have to take it how it comes. We are given trials and when we are in the middle of them it seems like the hardest thing ever to deal with but we will come out okay. Heavenly Father does not give us trials that we cannot handle without his help. Praying, scripture study and just taking time to think really does help. I'm in the middle of a trial I didn't want to ever have to deal with but I took a chance and this is where it landed me. Its really hard to deal with but I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I'm gonna be okay. Its gonna take a lot of time but I have my Heavenly Father, my friends and my family to help me through it. If I can get through all the stuff I'm dealing with, you can get through anything.

♥

Music thing!

Day 6: A song that reminds you of your best friend

There are tons of songs that remind me of Katie but whenever I hear Bad Romance I start laughing because more than once we have been driving around and screaming the lyrics to this song.

This is another one that reminds me of Katie called Upside Down by Jack Johnson. Katie looooves Jack Johnson and this is her favorite Jack Johnson song so naturally whenever I hear it I think of her. Amazing song by the way.

Yes, I Make Yummy Treats

Just thought to show everyone the deliciousness that I made. Once upon a time, I went to Katies house and her mom made me try this super yummy truffle-like thing. I LOVED it. So, I asked how she made it. I havent forgotten and decided to make them.

They are Oreo and cream cheese balls dipped in chocolate and drizzled with white chocolate and boy are they delicious. Thank you Katies mom!!

Please Be Civil...

Wow. So massive drama stuff going on. I havent had to deal with drama to this magitude since jr. high. So I have a couple things to say that I just want to get out there.

Thanks everyone for having my back and defending me. I appreciate it like you wouldnt believe. I just want this to be civily dealt with. We are not animals and dont need to move down to the level of animals. Name calling, threatening, belittling etc. is not necessary. I know a lot of you are mad at nameless person but they are still a person too and still have feelings. Please note that I am not taking blame for how stuff went down, I am just simply trying to let this remain civil. Regardless of what said nameless person has done and how I am feeling, nameless person is still a person and still deserves to be treated decently. I am a fairly compassionate person and when I feel someone is being treated unfairly I say something and currently I that is how I am feeling. I know that I cant force everyone to be nicer towards this nameless person but I can sure express how I am feeling about the treatment of the nameless person. Please understand that this is not me trying to back out of defending myself but it is rather my attempt to remain a decent person. I dont want to be the girl who everyone sees as the biggest brat in the world with friends that are vicious when something like this occurs. I love you guys to death and I really appreciate the support but please keep this civil and remember that the person on the other side of this is still a person and still has feelings.

Back From Cali!

Well hello there! I am back in the state of Utah. I've actually been back since Saturday night but I have been lazy with writing soooo yeah.

Cali was amazing! It was awesome to see family and hang out with them and just forget about everything going on back in Utah.

We left Saturday and drove to St. George and spent the night there. Sunday morning we woke up and drove the rest of the way to Cali. We got there around like 2 and went to the Dennis home!!! We were greeted by my lovely aunt and amazing cousins. My aunt made this delicious food for us (sadly, I dont remember what it was called. Someone remind me!) and we ate food and talked. Then I was introduced to this YouTube thing called Kid History. Oh. My. If you have not seen this you need to. Its hilarious! Then we ate a huge cookie with ice cream on top. So good. Then we watched Psych. Psych is the best. The. End.

Crazy cousins!

Monday we went to California Adventure! We stayed at the Grand Californian Hotel that has an entrance right in the middle of California Adventure. Super nice place. We were taking pictures while waiting for the employees to start letting us in. We just ran around there and hung out that day and saw World of Color which was cool

This is the closest we got to getting our whole family in a picture. My dads tounge is at the top haha

Tuesday was Disneyland day! Not a whole lot to report there lol but it was fun

Wednesday I was sick allllllll day. I had this stomach flu thing and it sucked so bad. My brother had it before I did and it lasted about 3 or 4 days for him so I was terrified that I was gonna be sick the rest of the trip or be the reason we left early. So, being the Mormon girl that I am I asked for a blessing. The next day we had planned to go to Disneyland with family and I didnt want to miss it. Well guess what? The next day I was perfectly fine. Talk about a miracle.

So Thursday we met up with the Dennis' and rode all the rides and ate food and took silly pictures. I have been to Disneyland tons before but this was by far the most fun I have had at Disneyland (besides tour cause thats different :P )

Crazy cousins in front of the castle! You would never know I puked the day before

Friday was a "do whatever" day so we rode the coaster in California Adventure over and over and over. It was super fun! Oh! And we went shopping

Saturday we left and drove straight through back to Utah. I HATE the drive back. Its always soooo long and boring haha just sayin.

So yeah, that was my trip. I'll probably write something tomorrow just for fun cause I like putting random thoughts on here and if I go into my random thoughts this is gonna be waaaaay too long so yeah I'm done now.

♥

Music thing!

Day 5: A song that isn't popular and wish was

This song is called Believe. Its by Rob Thomas (whom I have talked about before). This is my favorite song off of his Cradlesong album and is currently my song obsession. I really wish people knew this song because it truly is amazing. Rob Thomas is such an amazing song writer and I think he should have released this a single.

21 Things You Need to Know About Me :)

21 things you need to know about me:

1. I am not easily manipulated

2. I can play mind games better than you can. Don't play games with a girl who can play them better

3. You hurt me, my friends will destroy you

4. I am not the girl who will sit in a corner and cry when you walk away. I will continue with my life and move on because I know that if you truly cared about me you wouldn't walk away

5. I am a Harry Potter nerd. This changes for no one

6. I know that no man is worth my tears and the one that is wont give me any reason to cry

7. Be yourself and I'll do the same

8. I may seem nice and sweet on the outside and I am as long as you remain a good person. Once you do something to hurt me or my friends and family the claws will come out and you will not enjoy it

9. When the world gets in my face I say, have a nice day (brownie points for anyone who can tell me what song this is from without googling it)

10. One thing I have learned recently is that being strong is not closing up and putting up a wall, its letting the wall down and taking whatever comes with grace and class

11. I have an obnoxious side to me that people don't see very much

12. Don't judge me when you first meet me. I am not what I seem

13. Be a friend to me through thick and thin and I will do the same. I will be your friend for life

14. Music is basically my drug. I am completely addicted to it

15. I know when I need to walk away

16. I am a psychology major so if I ask in depth questions about something you are going through, don't be surprised

17. I love classic rock. If you cant appreciate classic rock then there is a problem

18. I've decided most men are all the same but would love to be proven wrong

19. I'm stubborn. If I don't wanna do something I wont do it. If I wanna do something I'll do it

20. I write to express my feelings. If you make me mad, don't be surprised if I write a blog entry, facebook status, facebook note etc. about you without mentioning you directly

21. I just want someone to take me as I am and not ask me to change

It's Not Worth It

It's not worth it. What's not worth it you might ask? Well I'll tell you.

The pain

The confusion

The worry

Its just not worth it.

One of the crossroads I talked about in my last post has been decided upon (no its not the college one). I have decided that its just not worth all the time, energy, hurt, confusion, anger, worry and work. There comes a time when we must decide between what we want in the moment and what we really want down the road. I have decided that what I want most is my ultimate goal at the end. It makes no sense to sacrifice that for what I want now and possibly jeopardize what I really want down the road..

If something is worth it then it will fall into place and it will seem effortless. If something isnt worth it, it will fall out of our lives completely. If someone is worth it then when you disappear they will chase after you. If you disappear and they dont try to find you, then they never cared in the first place. Its that simple.

Everything in life is a learning experience. Everything happens for a reason and everyone walks into your life for a reason. There is something we can learn from every person that walks into our lives. You eventually have to sift through all the people in your life and figure out which ones are worth it. The people that are worth it will stick around. The ones that arent, will eventually disappear whether you want them to or not. Its a fact of life.

Now to address some concern this might be raising, I am not, I repeat, I am NOT depressed, sad or whatever. I have just learned a lot and wanted to share it with you all. Don't worry about me, I'm fine :)

Conclusion to what I have learned: some people are worth it and some arent. The ones that truly care will chase you when you disappear and put forth effort into a friendship (or relationship). The ones that dont care wont bother to look for you or try to keep a the friendship (or relationship) going.

Oh and before I forget. To all the people out there who like to mess with other people: Dont play mind games with a girl who can play them better and has friends who can play them better. In the end, you'll be the fool and your "victim" will just sit and laugh.

♥

Music thingy!

Day 4: A song you have been obsessed with lately

I have a couple of these so I'll post them haha.

This is Blake Lewis. He was the runner up on American Idol season 6. I recently stumbled upon his most recent album and gave it a listen. His music is different and if you dont like beatboxing and electronic sounding stuff then you wont like this. This song stood out to me the most. I absolutely love how it sounds. The lyrics are cheesy at times but the song itself is fun.

Recently I have rediscovered how much I love Rob Thomas. His voice and song writing skills are absolutely amazing. This song is called Someday. Its off of his most recent album Cradlesong. This is one of my favorites off of the album. Its not really one of my song obsessions lately but it just represents my recent obession with Rob Thomas' music :) If you havent heard him before, you are missing out. Get in gear and listen to him. You wont be sorry :)

Enjoy!

"God Don't Make No Junk"

First off, hi. I'm having issues figuring out how to start this because its been awhile-ish since I last updated. Life has been....interesting. I have been at a crossroads lately. Usually I can make a decision involving important things in my life pretty quickly but I have reached the fork in the road and have kinda stopped. I'm just standing there, staring at both roads trying to think it through. My thought processes have not been very clear either. I am soooo glad I'm going to Cali on Saturday. Whenever I go there I can usually clear my head pretty well. The whole way there I pop in my headphones and listen to the music. I am alone with my thoughts for about 10 hours there and 10 hours back. When I'm there everything just leaves my head and I can focus on my familly and having fun.

Every year we go to Disneyland and every year I have been able to go and come back with a clearer head. There have been decisions I have made while sitting on a rollercoaster haha so I'm very excited to go and clear my head and come back more motivated to do something and choose a road.

I'm not going to go into what roads I am trying to choose between because I'd rather not make it public. Some of you know and others of you dont. If you are that curious to know just ask me and chances are I'll tell you. I will tell you this though, the fork in the road involves another person and it could potentially change my life for either the better or for the worse which is what scares me. I dont want to make the wrong choice.

Theres another thing I'm contemplating as well. My best friend Katie is moving to Cedar City in the fall to go to SUU. My parents have got me to start actually kind of consider moving down there and going to school with her and rooming with her. I have to figure out if this is something I should or need to do. I know I need to move out eventually and meet new people so I'm just wondering if now is the time.

So yeah thats where I'm at right now.

In other news...it snowed. I am not a happy person at alllll. I bought some short sleeve shirts the other day! C'mon! Stupid weather. I'm ready for Spring.

Spring break is next week! Aaaand I'm taking Monday and Tuesday off (break technically starts on Wednesday). We are driving to St. George Saturday then continuing on to Cali on Sunday. I get to see my Cali family!! I miss them tons and tons and Haley, I am super excited for you to move down here and go to BYU. We will have to hang out more often and you'll have to introduce me to any awesome people you meet at school (I need more friends lol.)

So Lady GaGa, she has a new-ish song and there is a line from it that keeps going through my head "I'm beautiful in my way, cause God makes no mistakes." This is true for everyone. I dont care if you are black white, orange, blue, green whatever. You are beautiful and people love and care about you. This goes for both guys and girls because I know its mostly girls who dont think they are pretty enough (I'm no exception to this rule) but guys have this problem too whether anyone knows it or not.

Guys, if you are a nice guy and your "dream girl" going for the bad boys then shes not worth it. There are girls out there who are tired of dealing with the jerks and just want a nice guy. She is out there looking for you and as long as you are focusing on the girl that likes the jerks its going to take you a whole lot longer to find her. You dont have to be strong, or look like a male model, just be yourself. Coming from a girls point of view, thats all we want is a guy who is real and genuine.

Girls, you are pretty enough, you are smart, nice, and caring enough etc. etc. So the one guy you have your eye on doesnt like you and would rather date a skank instead, dont change yourself for him. When this occurs they will only like the fake version of you not the real you and when they realize that you arent what they thought you were its going to hurt a lot more as opposed to him not liking you. There are nice, decent guys out there. Are they hard to find? Absolutely. If you have an intense personality like mine (and you like to tell it like it is and stand up for yourself) dont change that. I have spent hours wondering if that aspect of my personlity is the problem and its not. I am me and I will change for no one. You shouldnt change for anyone either. Its not worth it. Keep your eyes open. There is a guy that you dont even know exists who thinks you are the most beautiful person in the world.

That is my rant and I'm done now

♥

Time for the music thing!

Day 3: A song that makes you happy

Yes this is Michael Jackson. Its called Will You Be There. Its one of MJ's songs that people dont really know about which is really depressing. This is by far my favorite MJ song. Dont get me wrong, I loooove Billie Jean, Bad, Beat It, Thriller etc. but this song for some reason hits me differently. This song makes me happy. I first heard it on accident and have been hooked since. By far one of my favorite songs and one of the best songs MJ has  ever written.

Sorry if this is a weird version of the song. I'm in my English class and cant preview it. If it sounds weird and you want to hear the real version I'm pretty sure its on my playist on this page on the side. If its not there I can direct you to the real version :)

Dont Give Up, Never Give Up

Life. It throws curves balls at you.

Things you never expected to have to deal with

Things that are there to teach you something

Things that are meant to test you

Things that are hard to accept

Things that seem impossible

The reason I bring this up is because I am having to deal with something like this and I'm sure a lot of you are having to deal with stuff like this as well. We cant give up. When we give up, the curveball wins. Giving up does no good. You are left standing there a few years down the road with the awful question of "what if?" lingering in your head. Two words as simple and insignificant as they are alone form one of the most horrifying questions we will ever have to think about when put together. What if? No one wants to think about what if which is why we cant give up. Giving up automatically means that what if will forever linger in your past.

Last month was stressful, and just plain awful. Half of the reason it was like that was because I tried to control everything and when I realized I couldnt I felt like I had failed. I like to have control over the things in my life but I need to learn I cant always have that. This is the start of a new month and whatever happens is what is meant to happen. All I can do is live my life properly and do the things I need to do. There are a lot of things right now that are way beyond my control and I need to let them happen. But I will not give up. I have to keep trying and I have to overcome what is happening. Clearly there is something I need to learn from this and I think that learning I can't control everything and accepting it is what I am meant to learn.

Anyone can overcome anything no matter who you are or what your situation. You just have to set your mind to it. Nothing is impossible. (Except slamming a revolving door or trying to nail jello to a wall. Good luck with trying to do those things.)

Now for the music thingy!

Day 02 – Your least favorite song

I dont really have a least favorite song but I have songs that bug me. Lately this one has been driving me crazy. This is the new Avril Lavigne song called What The Hell. This song drives me INSANE! I change the station on the radio and just cant stand it. I love Avril Lavigne so when I heard she had new music coming out I was super excited but then this is what I heard. I was extremely disappointed. If you like this song, great. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I just happen to get annoyed by it lol.

♥