Embrace Who You Are

You know what I've noticed lately that kind of bothers me? Everywhere I go there seems to be an ad for some kind of self improvement product. I'm not talking personality self improvement but outward appearance self improvement. I can't go anywhere without seeing an ad for weight loss something or other, make up, plastic surgery, botox, exercise products, etc. In these ads there is usually some kind of testimonial about how much their life has changed since using this product blah, blah, blah. It doesn't bother me so much that this stuff is out there, what bugs me more I guess is the fact that most of the time stuff like this is targeted at women. I don't understand why society believes that all women need to look like playboy models. What baffles me even more is the fact that women actually buy into that bull crap. You do not need to look like a playboy model to be beautiful. Everyone has something about them that is beautiful both inside and outside. Someone might have a wonderful smile but not so great style or something like that and its annoying that society will look at them and not see their amazing smile but will see their not so great sense of style or whatever and use that insecurity that they might have against them. Why can't society just be positive and focus on the good things about people? Everyone is insecure about at least one thing, why is it that that one thing is focused on? Instead of society playing on our insecurities, why can't it teach us to look at ourselves and others and find something, even just one thing, that we like? Personally, out of all the women I know none of them look like playboy models. None of them. Every girl I know are beautiful and some of them are never given the time of day and it frustrates me to see that. This doesn't just happen in relationships but in school, work, and many different social situations. Studies have shown that if two people are going out for the same job, the employer is more likely to pick the one they find the most attractive whether they have adequate experience for the position or not. Why do people work this way? Are we conditioned to think this way or is it just in our nature? Either way, it's not right. Everyone is beautiful. I don't care if you are black, white, gay, straight, a geek, a cheerleader, curvy, or skinny, you are beautiful and should never let society tell you different. Too many people walk around thinking there is something wrong with them because society tells them there is, when in reality there is nothing wrong with them and there is nothing wrong with you. Embrace your quirks, embrace who you are, and what you look like.  

Social Anxiety Disorder...

Hello, my name is Alyssa and I have social anxiety disorder or, a social phobia. No, it does not mean that I am afraid of talking to people. This anxiety disorder usually shows up early in life and is one of the most common anxiety disorders. What it is, is an intense fear in certain social situations which can impair ones ability to function. This can include a chronic fear of being judged by others and of being embarrassed or humiliated by ones own actions. We see our world in a way where others are constantly judging our actions when most of the time, they are not. Most of the time, no one care what you are doing. When suffering from this disorder, you can often see that your fear is unreasonable but it is extremely difficult to overcome.

For me particularly, I have had this for as long as I can remember but I'm pretty sure it showed up somewhere in elementary school. People often say "you're just shy, put yourself out there" but these people don't realize that "putting ourselves out there" is not easy to do. Personally, I would rather have shards of glass in my eyes than "put myself out there." Many people do not understand how certain social situations can cause anxiety attacks and panic attacks and the truth is, you never will until you actually experience it. People with this disorder are not mentally ill. We are not weird and we are not to be judged. The judging is what causes the anxiety in the first place for some people. This disorder effects each person differently. For me, I don't like situations where I have no one to talk to. I hate doing things were people are watching me because I feel like I am being judged. Talks in church, group anything in school and school presentations are basically death sentences. I am comfortable just sitting in the back of the room by the door. I never make comments in class out of fear of being judged or called stupid or actually being wrong. I am great one on one or in a small group if I can get to know you well enough to where I am comfortable. In a giant group of people, I say very little if anything at all.

Over the years I have gotten better. I used to wake up afraid to go to school. Fortunately I am good at concealing how I am feeling so no one ever knew. Including my family. I now go to school without any fear. I used to have a hard time talking to customers at work. I don't anymore. Now don't get me wrong, Just because I have gotten better does not mean I do not live without this disorder anymore. I deal with it every single day. Every day is a new challenge and every day presents a new struggle in addition to the struggles I already deal with because of this disorder. I have missed out on a lot of things in my life because of this. Words have been left unsaid and things haven't ever been attempted. I don't like talking about it because I feel like I am weird and will be judged. Publishing this post gives me anxiety just thinking about it. I figured I needed to get this out there because I am going into psychology and I cannot have my own issues get in the way of what I will be doing in the future. All I ask is to not be treated differently. Yes, its a disorder and yes, it is difficult to live with but at least I am not a psychopath right? Right?

-A  

When I grow up

Okay, wow. Its almost the end of February and this is my first 2013 post...clearly I put off posting here. Just wanted to throw out a quick update for you guys. (If I still have any readers that is haha.) 2013 has been kind to me thus far so that's been nice. But other than that I have nothing to say about this not so new year haha.

Somewhere towards the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 I officially decided what I want to do with my psychology degree. As you all should know, I have this thing with the show Criminal Minds. Its just very interesting to me. The reason I have this obsession with this show is because I have this thing for murder and other such crimes in general and I always have. I mean, when Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped I had to be about 10 and I remember I wanted to help find her. I looked all over the place everywhere I went for clues and came up with different scenarios for what could have happened based on what I found and thought was evidence. Fast forward a few years and I was watching those shows kind of like Dateline and Snapped that talked about different murder cases. I still watch any real life crime show I can get my hands on! Years later when I was in high school, I asked my dad what I could do in the FBI with a psychology degree. He said I could be a profiler. I had no idea what that was. I researched it and still didn't get it. One day, I was sick and had nothing to do but watch TV and a Criminal Minds marathon was on. There was nothing else on and it had the word criminal in the title so I figured it would be perfect for me. That was when I learned what a profiler was. A seed was planted and I became obsessed. After looking into what it takes to be a profiler, that dream was crushed because you have to get into the FBI and to do that they recommend being a police officer and I don't really want to do that so that went out the window. This semester I am taking an abnormal psychology class and in that class my professor mentioned something about a forensic psychologist. I looked it up and its basically what I have always wanted. You get to be a psychologist for criminals! And, you may occasionally get called onto a criminal case of some kind and construct a psychological profile. Talk about cool! Its like being an FBI profiler without needing to be a cop and without all the danger! Needless to say, I am ready to be done with school and start right now!   

A Political Post

Okay, the title says it all. In order to spare those of you I have as Facebook friends from having to read political posts, I have decided to put them here. So, those of you who are interested, read on. Those of you who are tired of politics and don't want to read anymore, stop right now. Really, stop.

....Why are you still reading this?

So, I assume that all the people who don't want to hear about politics are now gone, lets get started. 

Should you choose to comment on this post, I don't care just be civil and nice about it respecting other opinions other than your own.

This election is especially important to me because it is the first presidential election I get to vote in. That being said, I support Mitt Romney. Plain and simple. No, I do not support him because he and I share the same religion. That seems to be a common theme when I tell people who do not support Mitt that I do. They always ask if it is because we are both LDS. No. That is not the reason. I support him because I agree with his policies. Obama has run this country into the ground. We were better off 4 years ago with President Bush. This economy has been constantly declining and I am a personal victim of it. 2 1/2 years ago I lost my receptionist job. Why? The economy ate my boss alive and he had to sell the lease of the office, therefore leaving me without a job. I have heard people say that Romney is too rich and will ruin the economy even more because of it. Heaven forbid we have a president who knows how to handle money! Gas prices have risen and most college students, like me, cant afford it. There are virtually no jobs for people when they get out of college. Personally, I don't want to graduate with a degree in psychology and have a job that is unrelated to my degree. It makes no sense.

This election needs to be based on the future of our country and not the personal lives of the candidates. That includes Obama. I don't care about his personal life and what he does with his free time and money. That's his responsibility. People shouldn't care about what Romney does either. He said he had binders full of women. So what? He makes 20 million a year. So what? I don't care who you vote for as long as you vote. Make sure you are making an informed decision and know what your candidate stands for and plans to do for our country to move forward. If you agree with Obama, great. If you agree with Romney, great. Just vote.

Why are all the good men fictional?

So, I have this obsession with Criminal Minds and I have found that I have an obsession inside of Criminal Minds so its like 2 obsessions rolled into one. Meet my obsession inside of an obsession

His name is Dr. Spencer Reid. Most everyone I talk to about this show like buff and tough agent Morgan the best. And of course, I like the nerd the best. My love for this character grew even more after I saw this.

If only he were a real person. Too bad all the good men are either taken, gay, or in my case, FICTIONAL!